To start things back of again today's post is a personal post and something that I have wanted to write about for a while, especially because in the past year my own experiences have given me food for thought.
Now I have never been an individual that was afraid of exploring, I know some people are true home birds (I would say I home in on where the important people in my life are) and may have never been out of the country or Europe. I was very lucky when I was younger because my mum travelled a lot for work and so she wanted me to see at least some of the world that she had experienced and that travel bug has only grown more and more. That being said though, having the travel bug doesn't mean going out and finding my way in the world was an easy thing. In high school I would always try and fit in with what my friends liked and not always what I liked. I would lack the confidence to stand up for myself and was a real push over.
This year has shown me more than ever that the person that I am now is the best person I can be. I have stopped caring so much about other peoples opinions and started to make decisions that are the best for me. I would never have been able to do this without going out into the world alone and I am so glad that I have. During the process though, I did have to face some of my fears.
Pack it up.
Lots of people can relate to this, you pick out most of your wardrobe and throw the items in your case. I have been doing this for a large proportion of my life; having divorced parents make you a very efficient packer. This can be packing to move abroad, to a new house, because of loss, heartache or happiness, packing is an everyday part of life. Packing though, can also be one of the most stressful parts of the experience! Have you got everything? Will it weigh too much? Do I really need that extra pair of shoes? I am a massive list maker and I would advise every single person to write a list of what you will really need with you on your trip. Whether it is for a week, a month, a year or longer. Seeing it on paper can really help you.
See You Soon.
Out of my whole experience this year, saying goodbye to my Mum and boyfriend at the airport before moving to South Africa was one of the hardest things I have had to experience. My emotions were already all over the place with nerves, excitement and sadness that they weren't coming with me. Holding back the tears until I was through security failed massively. Having worries about travelling is perfectly normal because you are stepping into the unknown but making that step is a sure way to find out just how strong you really are.
What Have I Done?
Just before I left to Africa the reality hit me of what I was just about to go and do. I was pretty scared too. I was determined to get through all nine months of my placement year but the worry of not knowing if I would enjoy it was very scary. Even when I was on placement, some days I would wake up and wonder what possessed me to do something so physically demanding, so mentally challenging, and so exhausting but it made me stronger in every sense. Many people in that circumstance may want to get on a plane and leave, and there really were some times that I did. The fact that I stayed made me realise I really could achieve anything I wanted to. Leaving everything I knew to start my adventure was kind of like a caterpillar to the butterfly effect. I had nothing to shape who I could become, people really didn't know anything about me and so I could be the truest me I could possibly be. Sounds weird but it is so liberating and if you ever get an opportunity to experience it, I would say without a doubt, grab it with both hands.
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How Time Flies.
If you asked me how long twelve weeks felt back in September I would have told you it felt like a life time. Now, well, now I see it more of a snippet, a slow blink, an opportunity to cram as many amazing things you possibly can into your days and evenings away from work. My placements have taken me here there and everywhere from Kent to Chester to Africa, but I felt the most homesick on the placement that was closest to home, because I wasn't enjoying what I was doing as much as my others. My advice if you are ever feeling like time has stopped still is to write down one good thing that has happened to you in the day, even something as simple as someone gave you a jammy dodger. Small acts of kindness can make you feel that little closer to home and just remember, you only get to do that day once. So even if you are hating every minute of it, at least relish the fact that tomorrow will never be the same.
The Future.
I am not the same person I was a year a go, I want very different things from my relationships, friendships and career. I don't know if all I want is achievable, that will unfold itself in time. What I do know is that this time next year I will be different again and that's good because I will have had so many new experiences and met new people who will have impacted on my life. In 2 weeks time I will be on a 13 hour plane journey alone again (I'm going back to South Africa, watch this space for posts and photo jealous moments) and I am not scared. I know I can handle what ever travelling throws at me and that means I can enjoy every moment to the full.
I hope you liked this post and it can make you feel a little more comfortable about leaving home if you are off on your own adventure.
Let me know if you have ever jumped out of your comfort zone? Do you like to travel? Have you travelled alone or moved away from friends and family?
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